i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize