Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I looked at my own cervix.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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