ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
