worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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