I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When are your genitals available?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize