quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
