i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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