Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
