we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That accounts for only three of the penises
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize