I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
