NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
