Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
its liver damage thursday
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
