i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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