Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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