worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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