you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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