A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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