Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize