Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You made out with two different species that night
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
