3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize