Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
