im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
