i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Walk of Shame today included voting.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
