just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
