lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
