if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
