just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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