i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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