This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
