i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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