Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
