Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
