if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
