Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
