no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
