I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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