people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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