I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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