How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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