Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
