How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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