Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How naked do you want me to be?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
