I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
