Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize