omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
