It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Im part way to drunk.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
