hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
