I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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