I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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