Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
