No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
