Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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