Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
