if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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