If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
