I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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