that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize