you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it was like eating out sand paper
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
