Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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