Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
