omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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