My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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