Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
