I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
