she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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