dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
