I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
