Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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