She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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