Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
