Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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