His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
