we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
